Dear Family and Friends,
I finally have the answer to the question, "When are you coming
back?". We bought our tickets yesterday evening. We will be
arriving in Kansas City on Thursday, June the 5Th.
The flight is Northwest #1533. It originates in Minneapolis and
arrives in KC at 6:38 p.m.
We will leave Manila at 7:45 a.m. on Thursday, fly to Tokyo,
change planes and proceed to Seattle, Washington. We arrive at
8:55 a.m. on Thursday (remember we are half a day ahead of you
all in the states). From there we go to Northwest's hub in
Minneapolis to catch our flight to K.C.
The fun part is that we leave in the morning and arrive that
same evening even though we have been traveling for 24 hours.
Of special note:
Have a little bit of info for you on the kids. Have been meaning
to write this for a while. Have been through several seminars on
helping "third culture kids" adjust to changes. In fact there is
a wonderful book of that title that some of you might want to
get at the local library and read before we get back.
Our kids are now those "third culture kids" and they have issues
special to that group. Things like, please don't ask them if
they are happy to be home, they might surprise you with a
resounding no and then cry!! They will have just said goodbye to
a lot of people they care about here with the knowledge that
they will never see them again. Instead ask if they are glad to
see everyone and the answer would be yes! yes! yes! Even now
they are very excited to see everyone they said goodbye to 4
years ago.
Their interests will be different--take sports--Sam loves soccer
and rugby and even played on a rugby team. We have not had a lot
of opportunity to watch American sports.
You might think them stupid if you ask them to turn down or on
the air conditioner--those don't exist here in homes (only
window units) and they will have no idea what that control thing
on the wall is!! Instead they will be looking for the nearest
wall fan. The showers may confuse them and they may not remember
that we can get hot water from the faucets. They could even burn
their hands on accident thinking whatever knob they turn they
will get cold water. When they are thirsty they will look for
the nearest jug of purified water and be confused when they
don't see it. The idea of drinking water from a faucet is
totally foreign to them.
They have social habits that you might think very rude because
you would not know what is acceptable in this culture. For
instance if you take them out for a meal at McDonald's they
won't know to pick up after themselves. It is not done here,
that is someones job and at some places there is not even a
trash can out to put your stuff in. It will take them time to re
learn what to do in the states versus here.
Also in most places here toilet paper goes in the trash. This
will seem especially disgusting to you but very normal to them.
They know it is different in the states, but they have lived it
that way for 4 years here. Put liners in your trash cans and
grant them grace please till they get used to the ways of the
states. Also they will not know how to behave in a public toilet
since the rules here are so totally different--remind them they
have to stand in line, not go and stand in front of a door. They
will also be stunned that public toilets will have seats, they
will not know what that paper liner is for and auto flush will
freak them out for sure as they have surely forgotten that even
exists.
You might think they are "name droppers" because everyone they
know is from some other country and when they talk about those
things or where they have flown to it could come across that
way, but that is not the intent it is just where they have been
and who they know. Their favorite teacher might be from South
Africa and they learned African er songs, or from Australia.
Their best friends that they talk about will be from Korea,
Scandinavia, Australia the U.S. Their sense of humor will
reflect these different cultures as will their facial
expressions (saying hi by lifting your eyebrows for instance).
They will have slang words from other languages that they might
mistakenly use--things like pogi (handsome) or makulit
(naughty).
This is just the tip of the iceberg. There is all sorts of stuff
that I know I have forgotten myself, it is just that for me I
will remember again and fall right back into the old ways. For
someone like Laura, who has spent so much of her life here, she
will not have that frame of reference to fall back on.
Just realize that they miss you all terribly, but they also
built a life for themselves over here and it is pretty cool.
They are in a unique situation in that they will never have
everything/everyone they now love all together in their lives in
one place. They will always have to say goodbye to one group
they love to be with the other group they also love. This means
for them that often their joy will very intense and mixed with
sorrow. This is not a terrible thing--it is just something to be
aware of so that we can help them work through the process.
Roger and I feel they are blessed to have so many people to love
on both sides of the ocean--how can that ever be a negative?!
However they will need some adjustment time and patient
understanding. Actually, so will we.
Love Tammy